


Lover, where do you live?

by Lokkanel



Series: Skam Weeks [4]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Falling In Love, I don't know how to tag this yet without spoiling it so i'll add tags later, Isak can't find his soulmate, Longing, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24339970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokkanel/pseuds/Lokkanel
Summary: The day he turns eighteen, Isak eargerly awaits to see the name of his soulmate be revealed on his skin. But when a mark finally appears, it is nothing more that a few thin, unreadable lines...A soulmates AU written forSkam weeks
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: Skam Weeks [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719580
Comments: 105
Kudos: 277





	1. Where are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here I am with a new story for Skam weeks :)  
> This was supposed to be another oneshot, but as I began writing, it became a bit longer than what I expected, and unfortunately I didn't have enough time to write the whole thing in one go... I've wanted to write a soulmate story for a while now, so I guess I got a little it carried away! So here is the first chapter of a new fic!

Here Isak was, on the night of his eighteenth birthday.

His friends were all here to celebrate with him, they brought food and drinks and presents. His mom had let them organize everything at her house and was watching them dance and laugh from the corner of the living room, a soft, loving smile on her lips. She was calm, stable, and mere fact of seeing her surrounded by his friends was already the most beautiful gift Isak could have received.

Even his father had come over earlier with a gift for Isak and some flowers for Marianne. They had coffee, just the three of them, sitting around the small kitchen table where they used to have breakfast when they were still a family. It was still a bit awkward between them, but a lot less electric than before. They talked about nothing and everything. About Isak mostly, his graduation from high school that was happening soon, his plans to go to med school in the fall. He was the most comfortable topic of discussion, the safest. The only thing Terje and Marianne still had in common.

Then Terje left before the party began, promising Isak they would meet again very soon. Isak smiled and accepted his father’s hug, knowing that it was nothing but wishful a lie. Isak and Marianne waived Terje goodbye as he backed out of the driveway, and Isak felt his mother’s hand slightly trembling in his own.

*

Now, Isak was trying to focus on the party happening around him, but he couldn’t help staring at the clock on the wall, excitement and dread making his stomach swirl as he watched the clock hands slowly approaching the exact moment he was waiting for.

21:18

…

21:19

…

21:20

…

Only a minute left, sixty seconds and Isak would know.

He would see a name appear on his skin and know there was someone, somewhere in this world that was waiting for him.

Someone who would understand and accept him, with all his fears and doubts, someone who would love him no matter all of that.

His soulmate.

Of course, the reality was often a lot more complicated and a lot less romantic than that. Having a soulmate meant sharing a unique bond with someone but it was not necessarily a fairy tale. Having a relationship and building a life with your soulmate still required work and commitment, it didn’t just happen like by magic. Some people couldn’t bare the strength of a soul bond, sometimes sharing your deepest thoughts and feeling just got too much.

Like it did for his parents. Terje wasn’t strong enough to love and support Marianne after her illness got worse. And so he left her, and Isak.

So maybe Isak closest model when it came to soulmate relationship wasn’t a happy and successful one, and maybe his own “romantic” record so to speak, wasn’t something he looked back on very fondly - between girls he used when he didn’t want people to know he was gay, and meaningless hookups with guys he barely remembered - but still, deep down, Isak had always held on to the hope that he would find his soulmate and that everything would be okay.

*

_ Tic. Tac. _

_ Tic. Tac. _

_ Tic. Tac. _

21:21

For a second, Isak felt like everything froze around him. He couldn’t hear the racket of the party anymore, everything disappeared in a kind of blur. All he could see was the clock pointing to the exact time of his birth.

*

Isak was suddenly startled by someone grabbing his hand.

“Happy birthday sweety.”

“Thanks Mamma.” he smiled but he knew that she could see the turmoil in his head, and that she understood what it was about. Even when he thought he had mastered the art of lying and deceit, she had always been able to read him like an open book.

“Do you feel anything?”

“Um… I’m not sure, not yet, no…” Isak stuttered. But the truth was, he didn’t even know what he was supposed to feel when the mark would appear.

“It will come soon don’t worry.”

She held him a moment and kissed him on the cheek and this time, Isak could feel it was his own hand that trembling in Marianne’s.

*

Minutes passed, then an hour, and another.

Isak tried to enjoy the party with his friends but the only thing he could think about was the lack of any sensation that something had changed in him, that a mark had appeared anywhere and that a bond had formed with someone.

He wanted nothing but to lock himself in the bathroom, stand on front of the mirror and inspect every inch of his body for a mark, a name. Because as he looked at the bare skin of his arms and his neck, all the parts of his body that were not covered with clothes, he still didn’t see anything.

“Heeey birthday boy! Why the long face?”

A very tipsy Eva crashed against him,on the couch and laid her head on his shoulder.

“Hi Eva…”

“What’s wrong Issy? You don’t like your party?” she pouted.

“Yeah I do! Of course I do!! You guys are awesome…”

“But there’s something on your mind I can see…”

“Yeah…”

Isak trailed off, hesitant. He really was so grateful to his friends for doing all that for him and he didn’t want to kill the mood of the night, but then Eva could see right through him and he knew she wouldn’t let him just shrug it off and pretend everything was fine.

“Eva um… What did it feel like, when your mark appeared?”

“Mmh?” she frowned, taking a sip of wine, “oh, you mean my soul mark?”

Isak nodded when she tilted her head up to look at him.

“Well, it’s hard to explain, I guess like a sort of tingle at first… to me it felt like the first rays of sunshine on your skin at the beginning of spring… you know that warmth you’ve been desperately craving for months… it was both exciting and comforting.”

Isak watched Eva as she recalled that moment, a soft smile spreading across her cheeks that were colored by a blush caused both by the alcohol and the memories of that moment. She instinctively brought her hand to the side of her chest, right where Isak knew her mark was.

He hummed pensively before asking, “Did it appear right away?”

“Yeah, like the second of my time of birth… But then, as you may remember, my soulmate had his tongue in my mouth at that very moment so I guess it must have helped” she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s right…” Isak chuckled.

Just a few weeks ago, Eva celebrated her own eighteenth birthday and to absolutely nobody’s surprise, Jonas’ name appeared on her skin that day. Eva and Jonas had been together on and off for years. What was just a teenage fling in the beginning very soon became something a lot stronger, a lot deeper. And even when they fought, even when they broke up and Jonas hooked up with random girls while Eva had more or less of a thing with P.Chris, somehow they knew they would end up together again. Everyone thought so. So when they got seriously back together again a few months before Eva’s birthday, it became evident for everyone that his name would appear on her skin.

Isak was happy that day, he really was. These were the two people he loved most, well with his mom of course, and they would be together and love each other forever. But tonight, he couldn't help feeling like a pang of jealousy as Eva talked about her soulmate. He wasn’t jealous of Eva, not anymore. His crush for Jonas was very long forgotten, but he envied what they had, their bond. And for now, there was still no sign of any soul bond of his own.

“Hey… it’s different for everyone. It will come don’t worry. Maybe your soulmate is a little shy.” Eva winked, then squeezed him in her arms, almost spilling the rest of her glass of wine on his shirt.

“Come on!” she exclaimed, getting up from the couch, “let’s go have a drink!”

They joined their friends who had moved the party outside in the garden and Isak drank and smoked until his body began to feel so numb, if a mark had appeared he would probably not even have felt it.

*

The next morning, Isak tried to hide his massive hangover, smiling as he said goodbye to Marianne before heading back to the kollektive.

“Thanks again for having all of us here Mamma”, he said as he hugged her on the doorstep.

“Well it's not everyday your baby turns 18. Oh, but maybe I can't call you that anymore now…” she chuckled.

“It's alright… you can.”

They stood there a moment longer, just smiling at each other. Marianne looked so happy, peaceful but still, her eyes seemed to be glistening with tears.

“Your friends are very nice, all of them. I am so happy to know that you have these people in your life. I am so grateful for them to have taken such good care of you when I couldn't.” she said, fixing Isak’s collar to deflect attention from her visible emotion.

“Mamma…”

“Don't mind me, I'm being silly.” she waved off, “Go home sweetie and give Eskild a kiss for me, I love that boy.”

“I will, goodbye Mamma.”

Isak gave Marianne a last long hug before he walked away to the nearest tram station. 

*

When he got back to the kollektive, Isak immediately crashed on his bed. He was still exhausted from the night before but every time he tried to close his eyes to try and get a little bit more sleep, his mind started whirling back to the the worries he desperately tried to forget the night before. Now that he was somewhat sober, they didn’t let him have a moment of rest.

After tossing and turning in his bed for a while, he eventually got up and stepped in the shower. He stood there for what felt like an hour. The water was certainly way too hot but he just wanted to feel any kind of sensation on his skin, anything, even if it wasn’t what he was desperately craving. 

Isak only got out of the shower when his skin had turned red from the warmth of the water and the entire bathroom was so full of steam he could barely see. He wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped his hand across the misty mirror. As he looked at his reflexion, his eyes settled upon the inside of his left forearm, caught by some peculiar lines. At first, Isak thought it was only the glistening of water droplets rolling along his arm, but now that he was looking more closely, he could clearly see a few silvery lines traced on his skin. He looked away from the mirror and down at his arm, running the fingers of his right hand ever so lightly on the lines. At the simple touch, he felt a tingling sensation running along his left arm all the way to his fingertips. It was very soft, nothing like what Eva had described or like the stories he had read about, but it was there.

The name was still unreadable, but Isak was willing to be patient. Soon, he would know.

Soon.

*

But hours passed and Isak still couldn’t decipher the lines on his arm. He spent the entire day staring at the thin silvery lines, looking for any change but only grew more and more frustrated.

His roommates tiptoed around him all day, asking him if there was anything new at first, then just trying to change his mind when they saw how irritable he’d get, but at the end of the day, they just threw each other questioning and worried looks, not knowing what to do to help him anymore.

“Hey baby Jesus, me and Linn are gonna watch a movie, do you wanna…?”

“No thanks” Isak cut Eskild off, “I’m just gonna go to bed, I’m kinda tired.”

“Okay, good night then…” Eskild and Linn watched him head to his bedroom from were they were snuggled up in a blanket on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on their lap.

Isak didn’t lie, he was tired. He felt physically and emotionally drained.

But still, he spent almost the entire night staring at the ceiling, headlights piercing through the darkness everytime a car drove up or down the street.

_ Why not me? _

_ Why can’t I get a soulmate like everybody else? _

_ Why must I be miserable again? Don’t I deserve love? Happiness? _

_ What have I done to the universe for it to fucking hate me like that? _

Isak has already had trouble sleeping for weeks. That night, his insomnia was punctuated by these questions and doubts, battling in his mind and not letting him close his eyes, until the sun rose in the morning.

*

Two weeks later, exhausted by his more and more frequent sleepless nights, and worried by his mark which hadn’t evolved much since it appeared on his arm, Isak decided to go see a doctor, hoping they would give him an explanation for his unreadable soul mark.

The doctor looked at his mark for what felt an hour, she manipulated Isak’s arms with rubber gloves, letting out little pensive hums every now and then. Her eyes were widened ten times behind the large magnifying glass she used to observe Isak’s skin. It made her look like a weird cartoonish character and Isak would have laughed if he wasn’t so terrified of her verdict.

She hummed one last time before pushing the arm of the magnifying glass away and looking straight at Isak with a serious frown on her face.

“Hum… so?” Isak asked, hearing how shaky his voice came out.

“Well, as you may or may not know, it can sometimes happen, even if it is quite rare, that the soul mark appears in a… truncated form, that prevent the bearer to find his soulmate. This can happen for various reasons, if the future soulmate is still too young to form the bond, if they refuse the bond for whatever reasons, or if they… well if they died before the bearer eighteenth birthday.”

Isak suddenly felt like a lump in his throat and tears filling up his eyes, “Do you think he’s…”

“No, Isak, I don’t think that’s the case here. You see when that happens, the lines look kind of... off, faded. See how yours are visibly silvery.”

Isak let out a deep shaky breath, nodding as he looked more closely at the lines on his skin.

“The bond does look alive, but it somehow can’t seem to be able to form on your skin and indicate, even only in parts, the identity of your soulmate. I must admit this is quite unusual.”

“What… what can I do?”

“For now, there is not much you can do, you’ll just have to be patient and hope the bond will grow on his own. But I suggest you come back and see me if the shape of your mark hasn’t changed at all in about a couple of weeks, okay?”

Before he left, she recommended he did some meditation exercises to try and welcome the bond. He nodded absentmindedly as she described the different routines he could adopt, knowing perfectly well there was no way in hell he would start to meditate in the kollektive. If Eskild caught him, he would never hear the end of it.

*

After a few days, he felt it again, that same slightly tingling sensation as the first time the traces appeared. He still couldn’t read the mark but the lines started to look a little less muddled. It seemed to be quite a long name and Isak thought he could distinguish three different parts. Like maybe two small words, and a third longer? It was still hard to tell.

It wasn’t much yet, but still, it filled Isak with hope.

So the day he finally discerned a capital letter, he burst into the kitchen of the kollektive and held out his arm in front of Eskild’s face, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

“What do you see? There’s a letter right?”

“Um…” Eskild squinted as he looked at the curled line, “Oh yes I can see it! It’s an E, right?”

“Definitely an E.” Linn mumbled, shambling past them to access the fridge.

“Congrats Baby Jesus, I’m so happy for you!! That’s a good start yeah?”

“Yeah…” Isak sighed.

It was a start.

*

That night, Isak laid in his bed with a smile on his face. He couldn’t believe he had spent the last few hours obsessing over a single letter, but he was so happy.

_ E _ .

He had watched it for so long, unable to tear his eyes away from it as if he was afraid that it would disappear if he let it out of his sight. So now, even in the almost complete darkness of his bedroom, he could still see it perfectly clearly before his eyes.

His right hand was laying on the mark, and Isak softly stroked the place where he new the letter  _ E _ . was, feeling himself slowly drifting off to sleep.

_ Who are you? _

_ Why are you hiding from me? _

_ Is that some kind of guessing game? Is that what you wanna do? Okay, I’ll play then… _

_ E. _

_ What does this E. stand for mmh? _

_ Erik ? _

_ Espen? _

_ Emil? _

_ Egil? Eskild ? Please tell me it’s not Eskild… _

_ Eivind? Or maybe… Even? _

Isak suddenly felt a shiver radiate through his entire body from the spot on his skin that he was still rubbing with his thumb. He was short of breath, his heart pounding and he sensed a warmth, almost a weight next to him as if there was someone else lying with him on the bed.

A presence.

_ His  _ presence, he just knew it.

_ Even?  _ he asked tentatively.

Another shiver.

_ Even? Is it really your name? I’m… _

_ "Isak? Is that you?" _

Isak opened his eyes and drew in a sharp gasp as he suddenly sat back up on the bed.

_ What…? How…? _

“Even? Even are you here?” he whispered out of breath.

But Isak could feel the presence had disappeared as quickly as it had came.

“No no no… come back!” he pleaded.

“What’s happening? Where are you Even? Where are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked this first chapter!  
> Of course you must have recognized the title I used for this story... It's one of my favourite songs from the Skam soundtrack and it seemed quite fitting for this story :)
> 
> So this should be in 3 or 4 parts, I'm not completely sure how I'm going to cut it in chapters yet.  
> As always, your comments and feedbacks are greatly appreciated.
> 
> You can come say hello on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lokkanel) or [tumblr](https://lokkanel.tumblr.com/)  
> Much Love  
> L.


	2. You realize what that means, right?

The day after he had made contact with his soulmate, with Even, Isak spent hours getting round in circles in the kollektiv. He didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, trying desperately to draw Even’s presence back to him but nothing happened. He didn’t understand, he had never heard of anything like what he had experienced that night and he was actually beginning to wonder if it had not been just a dream.

But then, everytime he remembered Even calling his name, he felt the same shiver radiating through his body and he could hear his voice in his head, so clearly. It felt so real, somehow Isak knew that it was.

It had to be.

At the end of the day, he felt completely exhausted and went back to his bedroom without having eaten dinner, or exchanged more than two words with his roommates. Isak felt Eskild’s worried look weighing on him but just brushed it off and closed his door.

It was still pretty early in the evening and the sky was illuminated by the late summer sun, filling Isak’s bedroom with a warm rosy light. Isak drew his heavy curtains closed, suddenly finding himself in almost complete darkness and let out a deep sigh as slumped into his bed. He looked at the mark on his arm that had changed a little bit since the last day, becoming clearer, the  _ E _ . now completely distinct on his skin. But still, no name had appeared.

He turned off the lamp on his bedside table and closed his eyes, feeling his body sink in the bed and his mind drift off immediately. When he found himself in that state of semi consciousness, just before he knew he would fall asleep, Isak tried one last time.

_ “Even…” _

_ “Isak? Are you here?” _

Isak felt his heart bolt and a sudden warmth radiate through his entire body.

_ He’s here. He’s really here. _ Isak could feel it in every cell of his body.

_ “Yes! Yes Even I’m here. Can you hear me?” _

_ “I can hear you. I hear your voice in my head and I feel… I feel your presence, as if you were here beside me. Does that make sense?” _

_ “Yes! Yes I feel it too.” _

Isak felt his eyes burn behind his closed eyelids and soon, tears were running down his cheeks. But he didn’t try to wipe them off, he didn’t dare to move and risk to break the fragile contact he had managed to make with Even.

_ “What is happening? What does it mean?” _ he asked.

_ “I don’t know… I’ve been waiting desperately for your complete name to appear but this… I don’t understand.” _

And Isak could feel it, the same confusion and incomprehension that had been overwhelming him for the last 24 hours, pouring from Even as if he had had a window with a direct view into his soul.

_ “How long have you had my name on you?” _ Isak asked.

_ “Two years now.” _

_ “I can’t see your name yet.” _ Isak said and felt his heart sink,  _ “Just E. and some unreadable lines, silvery lines.” _

_ “Why do you think that is?” _

_ “I’m not sure… I was told it could happen if one was too young, not ready or not willing to accept the bond” _ Isak recalled his conversation with the doctor who checked his soul mark up,  _ “Actually I… I don’t think I would have been ready two years ago. I wasn’t ready to accept that my soulmate would be… a guy.” _

_ “Okay.” _ Isak felt something like understanding and comfort coming from Even, helping calm his nervous mind,  _ “And now? Are you?” _

_ “Yes.” _ It had been a long and painful journey but Isak could now affirm it without any doubt and he tried to convey it to Even as strong as he could. This certainty. He wanted this.  _ “Yes, I am” _ .

_ “I thought I would reject the bond the day it would appear.” _ Even said,  _ “I was ready to refuse it.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Because I couldn’t bear the idea of some kind of exterior force controlling such an important part of my life as the identity of the person I was going to be bound to for the rest of my life. I couldn’t bear not to make that choice myself. It may sound silly but I always thought I was the director of my own life and that every decision was mine and only mine to make. So the idea of a soulmate, someone I was _ destined  _ to be with, was just insupportable to me.” _

_ “Do you still feel like that?” _ Isak asked tentatively, wondering if this was the moment his heart would get broken before he even had the chance to offer it to his soulmate.

_ “No, no I don’t.” _

_ “What changed?” _

_ “I saw your name appear in sinuous golden letters right next to my heart and suddenly these thoughts evaporated. It just felt so perfectly right… And it is so beautiful, Isak, I wish you could see it.” _

_ “Even?” _

_ “Yes?” _

Isak hesitated a moment, it was probably completely ridiculous but he still had to ask.

_ “Are you... dead? Are you a ghost?” _

Isak heard Even’s deep laugh as clear as if he was right next to him, but even more than that, he felt it in his entire body, like a warm and happy feeling radiating from his chest to his fingertips. 

_ “No, Isak, I’m not a ghost.” _

_ “Okay, just wanted to make sure.”  _ Isak knew Even could feel his embarrassment, but strangely he didn’t really care. He could feel there was no judgement in Even’s words, no mocking in his laugh. Talking to him even for the very first time Isak just felt... safe.

_ “Well I’m glad we cleared that up.” _ Even said and Isak could hear the smile in his voice.  _ Damn,  _ he wished he could see that smile.

_ “Maybe we’re too far away from each other…” _ Even continued, _ “I can understand you, I hear you talk in my language but maybe it’s a trick of our bond and you’re actually in the other side of the world… too far out of reach.” _

Isak’s doctor hadn’t said anything about physical distance when she gave him possible explanations for the fact that he couldn’t find his soulmate, and he never heard of anything like that either, but it could make sense.

_ “I’m Norwegian, I live in Oslo. Where are you?” _

_ “I’m in Oslo too…” _

Isak felt his heart swell with hope. He had found him, he had found his soulmate and he was close to him, living in the same city. Whatever weird glitch this was, preventing Isak soulmark to form soon wouldn’t matter because they would be able to meet, to see each other to… touch each other.

Isak shook his head at that thought and hoped Even couldn’t somehow feel how his heartbeat quickened in his chest and how his cheeks suddenly felt a little hot.

_ “Can you believe we could look out the window and be seeing the exact same thing right now?” _ Even said, his voice full of wonder.

_ “What do you see?” _

_ “Not much of a view, some Bislett bricks apartments buildings… but right now everything is covered by a big blanket of snow… And there’s so much moonlight tonight reflecting on the snow, it’s almost as bright as daylight.” _

_ “What… what are you talking about?”  _ Isak asked, bewildered.

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ “We’re in july… it’s really warm outside, there’s still sunlight. How… snow? How is that possible?” _

_ “July? What ? That’s not… we’re in february, it is still winter, it’s cold and there’s snow everywhere…” _

_ “Huh? No… no no, that’s not possible! I don’t understand…” _

Isak felt a wave of panic rise in his chest. He sat abruptly in his bed, heart racing, out of breath and lost contact with Even the second he opened his eyes. He jumped out of bed and opened the curtains, blinking when the last rays of sunshine of this long summer days hit his face.

“What is happening?” Isak murmured, fighting the lump in his throat that was threatening to transform into sobbing, “What the fuck is happening?”

*

The next morning, Eskild jumped when he stepped into the kitchen and found Isak sitting at the table, looking down absentmindedly at a cup of coffee that had probably gone cold.

"Baby Jesus!" Eskild blurted out, startle by the presence of his flatmate in this room so early in the morning, "What are you doing up at this hour? I have to go to work but aren't you on holidays?"

"I haven't slept much…" Isak said, his voice hoarse and tired.

Eskild sat in front of him and took him in, his tousled hair, his pale skin revealing dark circles under his eyes. He would have normally made fun of Isak, teased him about what could possibly have kept him up all night and told him he looked like hell, but he didn't. Because Isak didn't only look tired, he looked profoundly sad, defeated.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?”

"Yeah, I'm… no, I don't know…" Isak trailed off.

Eskild looked down at Isak's arms, how his hand was covering the mark he had seen there, either to feel it or to hide it from his sight.

"Is it… about your soulmate?" He asked cautiously nodding towards Isak's arm, "did something happen?"

Isak contemplated telling Eskild everything for a moment, how he guessed his soulmate's name and managed to contact him, twice. How it had happened in this state of semi consciousness and how the contact was broken each time he had reopened his eyes. How he could sense Even's presence in his room, how he could hear his voice in his head and feel his emotions as if they were his own, as if they could both look into the other's soul.

But Isak knew it would sound completely insane, Eskild would think he had been dreaming, hallucinating or worse, that he was having some kind of mental breakdown.

So he just shrugged, mumbling a vague explanation, that it was just  _ stress or whatever. _

"Right…" Eskild frowned, not convinced but knowing he wouldn't be able to pull anything more from Isak at that moment, "well I'm off to work but call me if you need anything, yeah?"

"Okay, thanks Eskild." Isak smiled weakly.

"Anything for you baby J." Eskild winked and Isak didn't even dodge his hand when his flatmate ruffled his hair on his way out.

*

Isak continued to stare at his coffee cup, holding his head between his hand. He was so completely lost in his thoughts that he lost track of time. But all of a sudden, he decided that he had to do something. He had to try and find an explanation for what was going on with Even or it would most certainly drive him mad.

After taking a quick shower, he grabbed his backpack and headed outside. But when he opened the front door, he jumped when he found himself face to face with Jonas.

" _ Faen _ !" he gasped, "what are you doing here?"

"Hei, sorry man" Jonas chuckled, "I was gonna call you from outside but one of you neighbor let me in so I just came up."

"Okay, um… what's up?"

"I'm meeting Mahdi at the skate park" Jonas answered, holding up his board, "wanna come with us?"

"Maybe not today, I have um… stuff, to do."

"You're going somewhere?" Jonas asked, glancing at the backpack that was hanging on Isak's right shoulders.

"Yeah to the um… library."

"The library? What the fuck Isak?!" Jonas laughed like this was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life, "You realize school is over right? You are allowed to enjoy summer before Uni starts you know…"

"I know." Isak said, stepping out of the flat and locking the door behind him. "I just have to do some research that's all."

"Okay?" Jonas waited, hoping Isak would elaborate.

But instead he just went down the stairs, taking a pause until Jonas finally followed him.

"Maybe I'll join you later when I done, okay?"

"Alright, suit yourself, nerd." Jonas shrugged.

*

“Here you go” the librarian said as she put another pile of books on the table were Isak had sat, “I think this is everything we have on soulmates. You’re gonna be okay in here?” she chuckled taking in the dozen of books already scattered on the table, and Isak’s confused look as to where to begin.

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks…” Isak smiled awkwardly, just wanting the conversation to stop right there before she would get more curious about why he needed so much information about soulmates.

“Are you doing some kind of research? Writing a dissertation or something?”

“Yeah, something like that…” he trailed off.

“Very well" she said giving a little tap on the books she'd just brought before turning around, "I'll be at the desk if you need to borrow any of those."

"Okay, thanks." Isak said watching her walk away.

As soon as he was on his own again, Isak dived in the first book in front of him.

Isak spent his entire day at the library, forgetting to eat or to take a break, searching desperately for answers in all the books he had on front of him. Biology, psychology, history, he looked everywhere for a reference to a situation like his own.

When he didn't find anything, he even looked through less reliable sources, like a book written by some weird new age guru or a guide on how to keep your bond strong and healthy in 30 easy steps.

"What the fuck?!" Isak sighed, looking at the woman on the cover giving a grotesque thumb up with a wide and rigid smile.

"Sorry..." he whispered at the girl who shushed him from the table next to his. In the end, Isak even flipped through some fiction books, mostly romance novels, in search of a story like his own. But he couldn't find anything that resembled what in he was experiencing with Even in any of the thwarted soul bond stories he found.

"We're closing honey."

Isak looked up from the book he was reading, blinking at the librarian standing in front of him, his eyelids beginning to feel heavy.

"Oh, okay." Isak said, starting to gather his things and reorganize the piles of books.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked with a soft but concerned look.

"Um… no. No I didn't." Isak shrugged, trying to ignore the lump that was starting to form in his throat, "but thank you for your help."

"Of course, anytime." She smiled and walked away, taking one of the pile of books with her.

*

Isak took the tram home, he answered the few texts he had received from Jonas asking him if he would eventually come to the skate park or if he wanted to join them for kebabs, and those from Eskild wanting to know how he was feeling and when he would come home. Then, he scrolled through twitter, just to try and take his mind off the unsuccessful research he made at the library.

And amidst the stupid memes, amidst the rants and jokes from his friends, his attention was drawn to the title of an article published by a scientific blog he was following.

_ Beyond time and space : the theory of parallel universes. _

Isak had already heard about that theory but he hadn’t thought too much of it at the time. As soon as he opened the article, he became so enraptured with what he was reading that he almost missed his stop, jumping out of the tram through the closing doors at the very last moment. A little bit out of breath, he continued reading while walking from the tram stop to his apartment building, almost stumbling over the pavement a few times.

When he stepped into the apartment, he found Eskild and Linn setting the table in the living room in front of the TV, Eskild’s Netflix list displayed on the screen.

“Hey baby J! I bought pizzas on my way home, I felt like having a little roomates night, what do you say?”

If Isak was being honest, right now he wanted nothing more than to lock himself in his bedroom, shut the curtains closed and try to contact Even. He wanted to talk to him, tell him about what he’d just read, expose his theory to him.

But he had already isolated himself the night before and he knew Eskild was doing all of this for him, because he saw that Isak wasn’t feeling well that morning. Eskild understood that Isak was not willing, or not ready to talk, and found another way to make him feel better and tell him he was there for him.

“Yeah, okay that’s chill…” he smiled and didn’t miss the satisfied look on Eskild’s face.

It was fine, he could wait a couple of hours. Besides, he got himself so wound up with his research he wasn’t even sure he would be able to talk with Even just know, since he seemed to be able to make contact with him only when he was in this state of semi consciousness, just before falling asleep.

*

It was a really nice night, after they ate the pizzas and had a few beers, the three of them snuggled up on the couch, Isak squeezed between Eskild and Linn, to watch some silly comedy Eskild had picked.

Isak really was having fun and he was so grateful for his two roommates to be there for him without trying to pressure him, but still, he couldn’t help himself check the time and wonder when would be an appropriate hour to excuse himself and retreat to his room. 

In the end, it was Linn who got up from the couch, telling them that she was tired and waving them good-night. Isak helped Eskild clear the table and do the dishes in a comfortable silence.

“Thanks for tonight” Isak said when he was ready to leave the kitchen, “that was really… nice”

Well, eloquence was still not Isak’s strongest suit, but looking hesitantly at Eskild, he knew he understood.

“Anytime, Issy” Eskild gave him a little wink, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

*

_ "Are you here?" _ Isak asked tentatively when he felt himself drifting off, sinking softly into his mattress.

_ "I'm here." _ Even immediately answered, as if he had been waiting for him.

_ “How are you feeling?” _

_ “Good, I missed you…”  _ Even said and Isak felt his heart skip a beat, _ “What have you been up to?” _

_ "I um... I have made some research on soul bond and everything." _

_ "Okay." _

_ "I was trying to find some explanation to this, to what is happening to us, or maybe some record of something similar happening to somebody else…" _

_ "And?" _ Even asked, and Isak could feel the hope carried in his question,  _ "did you find anything?" _

_ "No, no I didn't… But!" _ Isak continued when he sensed the disappointment in Even,  _ "I read something else that got me thinking…" _

_ "Okay, what was it?" _

_ "What do you know about the theory of parallel universes?"  _

_ "Parallel universes? Are you serious?!" _ Even chortled in disbelief.

_ "What? It's so fascinating! Basically everything that can happen will happen, or rather  _ is  _ happening right now somewhere in another version of this universe.”  _ Isak said excitedly,  _ “What if… what if you and I are on two different universes where everything is almost the same except, for you it is February and there's snow everywhere, when I'm in July?" _

_ "I… it seems a bit surrealistic don't you think?" _

_ "Does it? More than having a soulmate whose name gets engraved on your skin when you turn eighteen? More than you and me talking to each other and feeling each other when we're not in the same room?" _ Isak felt himself blush because he realized how they had not really discussed how they could feel each other emotions and even the other’s physical presence yet.

_ "What else could explain that we seem to living at different times, right now as we speak? It actually makes perfect sense!" _

Isak waited while Even took in everything he'd just poured out to him. It was difficult to discern them but he could feel all the different emotions battling in Even's brain as he was trying to analyse and make sense of what Isak suggested.

_ "Well fuck I… yeah actually it kind of makes sense.”  _

There was a long, heavy silence before Eve, continued.

_ “But you realize what that means, right?" _

Suddenly Isak could feel it crystal clear, the one emotion that had washed all the others off in Even's mind. Sadness, an immeasurable sadness that sent a cold shiver through Isak's body and clenched his heart.

_ "Wh… what?" _

_ "It means that we can never be together, Isak." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii! I'm sorry it took me so long to write that second chapter... I felt so inspired when I drafted this story and wrote the first chapter but after that I must admit that I struggled a little bit. I feel like there are so many inconsistencies in this chapter, so I got frustrated while writing and in the end it's like this story slipped from my control... I don't know.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the rant. As always thank you so much for reading, I still hope you enjoyed this.  
> Please feel free to tell me your thoughts about this chapter (but if you're as conflicted as I am, please be gentle haha!)
> 
> You can come say hello on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lokkanel) or [tumblr](https://lokkanel.tumblr.com/)  
> Much Love  
> L.


	3. I'm glad it's you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei lovely readers! I want to begin with a huge thank you for your feedbacks on the last chapter. I had a lot of doubts about this fic but you were all so kind and positive, you really gave me the motivation to keep writing <333  
> So, since I change my damn mind every five minutes, this story will be in 4 chapters after all!  
> Enjoy :)

_ "It means that we can never be together, Isak." _

The words Even said to him continued to resonate in Isak’s mind for days after their conversation.

He was so excited to have found an explanation to what he and Even were experiencing, thinking that if he found the cause there would surely be a solution, that he didn’t even stop to think about what it really entailed. 

Of course, if they were living on two parallel universes, they could never find each other other than in this weird state of higher sentience. How could he be so naive?

Isak spent days feeling completely stunned, his mind swirling with doubts and questions, just like when he thought his mark would never appear.

_ Why me? Why us? _

_ What does it mean? Why give me a soulmate to then tear him away from me? _

He didn't reach out to Even at night, he did everything he could not to think about him when he went to sleep. He put on headphones and listened to music or watched netflix until he couldn’t keep his eyes open, sometimes he woke up in the morning and found his computer still on the bed next to him.

Isak avoided Even because he didn't want him to feel the despair that had washed over him, couldn't bear to subject him to that. 

The worst part was that Isak couldn’t even talk to anybody else about it. Isak had never been the one to pour out his problems and feeling, even to the people that were the closest to him, but this was beyond anything he had ever experienced. How could he even begin to explain what he was going through? Anybody would think he was going insane.

He felt so alone, empty.

Nobody could understand. Nobody except…

Even.

Even who he had completely shut out without explanation when he was probably feeling just as lost and confused as Isak was.

He thought he was protecting Even by not contacting him and let him feel his own sadness, anger and doubt, but Even was most certainly feeling the same. Except that he must have been even more confused and lonely that Isak, wondering why he was suddenly shut out by the one who was supposed to be his soulmate, the one he had been waiting for two long years.

_ What am I doing? I’m such a selfish asshole…  _

*

The night he decided to contact Even again, Isak had actually a lot of trouble falling asleep. What was he going to say to Even? What if he was angry at him, what if he had made him sad? Or worse, what if he didn’t show up at all? Well, Isak would have brought that on himself, wouldn’t he?

After twisting and turning for an hour or so, Isak sighed, lying on his back. He tried to focus on his breathing, remembering the stupid mediation exercices the doctor advised him to do to try and “welcome the bond”. Then, he tried to concentrate on Even, on the sound of his voice in his head, the sensation of his presence next to him, the warmth in his own chest whenever he felt Even laughing.

_ Even, Even, Even… _ he whispered as he drifted off.

_ “Isak?”  _

Isak felt a wave of relief running through him when he realized Even was here, that he didn’t, in turn, shut Isak out and refused contact with him.

_ “Yes. It’s me, I’m here.” _

_ “Are you okay?” _

Even didn’t seem angry or annoyed at him on the contrary, Isak could feel the worry in his voice, in his mind. And deeper than that, Isak could sense this profound kindness and selflessness that always seem to radiate from Even. Isak wasn't sure he had done anything to deserve it and it made him feel even more guilty.

_ "What's wrong?" _ Even asked, feeling Isak's discomfort.

_ "Nothing I… I'm sorry I haven't been there lately. I didn't mean to worry you or to leave you on your own I just… I didn't know what to do, how to deal with all that… I'm so sorry" _ Isak blurted out.

_ "No don’t be, you needed time to think i understand" _ Even reassured him, and Isak felt it again, that soothing power Even's voice had on him, like a balm on his heart making him feel like everything would be okay.

_ "But the thing is, I just panicked and I pushed you away." _ Isak continued, still willing to tell Even how he felt, to make things right.  _ "I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want to quit and run away at the first problem. I don’t want to abandon the ones I love the moment when things get difficult. I don’t to be like that, I don’t want to be like…" _

Isak suddenly stopped when he realized how much he'd just poured out to Even. He felt a little bit short of breath, his heartbeat quickened.

_ "Yes?" _ Even asked after a moment, giving Isak time to calm his thoughts.

_ "Nothing, nevermind…"  _

_ This is not the time _ , Isak thought. He would talk to Even eventually about everything. About his parents, his dad's cowardice, his own fear of becoming just like him. But not right now.

_ "Isak" _ Even said softly,  _ "you’re not weak, you’re not selfish. You got scared and confused but that’s alright, I am too. What matters is that you’re here now okay?" _

_ "Okay." _

_ "So…" _ Even began, Isak feeling some kind of playfulness in his voice.

_ "What?" _ Isak asked when he didn't elaborate.

_ "The ones you love eh?" _

To say that Isak was blushing was probably an understatement. He felt like his entire body was suddenly burning up. He didn't even realized he'd said that and now his brain was desperately trying to back-pedal out of embarrassment.

_ "Wha… I meant, I didn’t mean it like… I just…" _ Isak stuttered instead, feeling Even's amusement at his own freakout.

_ "Relax Isak, I’m just messing with you." _ Even chuckled.

_ "Oh, right…" _ Isak said, trying to sound cool and collected when he knew he was still feeling awkward as hell.

_ "I’ll keep that in mind though." _ Even said playfully.

_ "Fuck off…" _ Isak groaned but he welcomed the warmth filling his chest every time he sensed even was happy, and felt his lips pulling up in a small crooked smile.

_ "Excuse me?" _ Even exclaimed in mocked offense,  _ "Is that a way to talk to your soulmate? Love of your life? _ Litteral  _ man of your dreams??" _

_ "Oh my god shut up!" _ Isak buried his face in his blue pillow, even if he knew Even couldn't see the blush that spread across his face.

_ "Make me." _ Even answered, an hint of challenge in his voice.

_ "I wish." _ Isak was trying to be playful but he couldn't help his words being tinted with melancholy.

_ "Yeah, me too…" _

They stayed silent for a moment, Isak just concentrating on Even's feelings, trying to be a calming and reassuring presence for him, just as Even was for Isak, silently telling him  _ I am here. _

_ "But um… Even?" _ Isak said quietly.

_ "Yes?" _

_ "I'm still… I'm glad it's you."  _

_ "Me too, Isak. I'm glad it's you." _

*

After that, they made contact almost every night.

They learned to know each other, like they normally would if they could meet for a date, sitting down at the table of a coffee shop or having a walk on a long summer night. If they were just two boys falling in love without the impenetrable frontier of time and space between them.

They talked about the music they liked and Even teased Isak when he pretended to know very well who Nas was. Isak spent the next day sprawled on his bed listening to the album  _ Illmatic  _ on repeat, closing his eyes as he imagined Even doing the same thing wherever, whenever he was.

Isak told Even about his plan of starting med school after summer and didn't miss the hint of admiration in the small  _ wow _ Even breathed out.

Even told Isak he was studying medias and film in university and dreamed of becoming a director someday. He told him about his love for Shakespeare and recited his favourite sonnets to him. Isak pretended to make fun of Even's grandiloquence and over the top idea of romance, but he knew Even could probably feel just how flustered he really was.

They told each other a million ridiculous stories about their respective friends and wished they could somehow be all together as they were sure everybody would definitely get along so well.

_ “Do your friends know… have you told them about us?” _

_ “No. Have you?” _

_ “No…” _

Even told him about his ex-girlfriend Sonja. They had been together for a long time and seemed to fit so well together, everybody thought they would end up being soulmates. Even had always told Sonja what he thought about soulbonds and she didn’t seem to mind until they came closer to Even’s eighteenth birthday. She couldn’t handle the rejection that would surely come after Even would receive his mark, whether it was her name that appeared and Even still refused her as his soulmate, or it was somebody else’s. They broke up a few weeks before his birthday and after a long awkward phase, they eventually became friends again.

Isak couldn’t help the feeling of jealousy that took a grip on his heart. Even and Sonja were over, she was not Even’s soulmate, he was. But still, she had been able to have him completely, to be with him, to kiss him, to touch him and be touched by him, to… love him. Why couldn’t he be allowed that?

Isak tried to quickly get rid of these thoughts before Even could feel his inner turmoil. Then, he told him about that girl a year younger than him he kind of dated for a while in second year before he came out, Emma. She’d never really let go and actually started texting him again when she’d somehow learned that Isak’s mark only showed an E, as if she was hoping there was still some hope for her and Isak.

They laughed about it before Even asked:

_ “So, any boyfriends since then?” _

_ “Um… no, not really.” _ Isak huffed out.

_ "Not really?" _

_ "Not, at all." _ Isak sighed,  _ "I'm barely out, never had a real relationship or been with a boy properly and probably never will since my soulmate seems to be on another universe…" _

He let out a sad laugh,  _ "how pathetic is that?" _

_ "Don't say that!" _ Even rushed to try and console him,  _ "shit, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to…" _

_ "Nah don't worry, it's me, I'm just being stupid…" _ Isak brushed off.

_ "No you're not… you… fuck, Isak I wish I could hold you right now." _ Even breathed out, his sadness flowing all he way to Isak and blending with his own,  _ "I want to hold you in my arms, so bad." _

_ "Me too…" _

*

Isak realized that every day that went by, he could feel the lack of Even’s presence more and more when they were not together. He missed him, wished he could talk to him during the day too, but more than that he missed their bond, this ability to feel and understand Even’s emotion as if they were his own. This deep connexion that vanished the second he opened his eyes.

Without their bond Isak began to feel vulnerable, incomplete, as if he was missing a piece of himself. Something he didn’t even know existed but was now floating away somewhere in the limbo of the night.

Sometimes, Isak felt like he was sleepwalking through the day, barely registering what was happening around him or what his friends were talking about, his thoughts entirely focused on Even, his heart aching for that feeling of wholeness and togetherness he could only have with him.

“Hey, you’re okay?” Isak was startled by Jonas’ voice. He turned to his friends and immediately recognized that worried look in his eyes.

Isak looked around the table they were all sitting at, in the little kebab place near the skate park they always went to. It was covered with ruffled napkins and empty plates, his friends having finished their food when he had barely touched his. Magnus and Madhi were a little slumped on their chairs, sated, and chatted lively about the latest girl who had apparently broken Magnus’ heart. What was it, the third one this month?

“Um yeah…” Isak began, turning back to Jonas for a second before he avoided his gaze again a little sheepishly, “I’m just not really hungry that’s all.”

“Okay… but, I mean apart from that, is everything okay? With your um…” Isak looked up and saw Jonas nodding at the mark on his arm.

“Oh, um… yeah that’s fine.” Isak hesitated a moment, he didn’t want to lie to Jonas but this was definitely not the time to talk to him. He couldn’t just blurt out _ “Hey, by the way, I found my soulmate but apparently we’re living on two parallel universes so we’re having telepathic conversations every night, no big deal!” _ amidst the racket of the busy kebab place, while Magnus was telling a story about a girl with a...  _ cat tongue? _ What the fuck?!

“Apparently, I just have to be patient that’s all.” he brushed off vaguely with a shrug.

"You know you can always talk to me, right?" Jonas said softly, bumping his knee against Isak's under the table.

"Yeah I know… thanks." Isak smiled.

_ I will _ .

“So, guys!” Magnus suddenly called out to Isak and Jonas, bursting their little bubble to bring them back into the conversation, “party at Eva’s tomorrow night. Jonas, do you think you could ask her if she thinks I have a shot with Vilde or…?”

Isak rolled his eyes while Madhi and Jonas laughed at Magnus who shook his head, not understanding why he was the object of his friends’ mocking, “What? What did I say?”

*

Two days later, went to bed his heart fluttering with anticipation. He didn’t contact Even the night before and felt uneasy the entire day after. It was getting more and more difficult to spend if only one night without talking to Even, without feeling his presence.

_ “Hei.” _

Isak relaxed as soon as he heard Even’s voice resonating in his head.

_ “Hei… I’m sorry I wasn’t here yesterday.” _

_ “Don’t be, it’s alright. But I did miss you a little bit.” _ Even said shyly, Isak feeling butterflies swirling in his belly at the admission.

_ “Me too.” _

_ “Busy night?”  _ Even asked.

_ “Yeah, there was a party at my friend’s… I told you about Eva, right?” _

_ “Mmmh…” _

_ “So yeah, I guess I had a bit too much to drink and I just passed out the minute I crashed on my bed.” _

_ “Okay, I see…” _ Even chuckled.

_ “But I…” _ Isak hesitated.

_ “Yes?” _

_ “I did… dream of you though, last night.” _ Isak said before he could stop himself.

_ “Isn’t that what we’re doing every night?” _ Even asked playfully.

_ “No, this is not… you’re a dream. I know this is real, it is to me.” _

_ “I know, it is real for me too.” _

After a moment, Even continued,  _ “So how did you recognize me in your dream? You don’t know what I look like.” _

_ “I don’t know, I didn’t really see you very clearly I guess... but I just knew it was you.” _

_ “Okay” _ Even said and Isak could feel how he was getting more and more intrigued,  _ “and what happened in that dream?” _

_ “I don’t… um nothing.”  _

_ “Nothing?” _

_ “Can’t really… remember.” _

Isak could feel Even was not fooled by his poor attempt at lying to get out of the mess he created for himself. He felt his curiosity and amusement grow until Even exclaimed,  _ “Oh my god!” _

_ “Huh?”  _

_ “Did you…? Was it that kind of dream?” _ Even asked and Isak was sure he was absolutely beaming right at that moment. 

_ “What?! No, why do you…? It wasn’t…” _ he stammered.

_ “Isak…?” _

_ “I don’t know, I was drunk. Yeah, okay maybe...” _

Isak was so completely mortified, he wanted nothing more than the floor to open and swallow him up.

_ “Don’t feel bad” _ Even said, sensing his discomfort as always,  _ “I think about it a lot too you know." _

_ “About... what?” _ Isak asked feeling his heart in his mouth.

_ “About touching you, kissing you.” _

_ “You do?” _

_ “Yes.” _ Even whispered ever so softly.

Isak stayed silent, not knowing what to say, feeling a bit breathless and stunned by Even’s admission.

Even waited a moment, then he took a deep breath, as if he was gathering up his courage and said slowly, carefully,  _ “If you were here with me I would take your hand in mine, interlace our fingers so I couldn’t let you go… I would bring your hand to my lips and kiss your fingers one by one, and then I would lay a final kiss in the palm of your hand.” _

As Isak listened to Even’s deep voice, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest, he felt a soft tingling sensation running along each of his right hand’s fingers and then, something soft and warm right in the palm of hand.

_ “I… I can feel you.” _ he gasped out.

_ “Really, you can?” _ Even asked, a combination of hope and wonder in his voice.

_ “Yes.” _ Isak whispered, then after a small pause,  _ “What… what else would you do?” _

_ “With the hand that was not holding yours, I would cup the side of your face, caress your neck, then I would trace every line of your face with a brush of my fingertips, your forehead, your eyebrows, your nose, your jaw, your lips… learn and retain every single detail of your face by heart. And only then, would I close my eyes and kiss your lips.” _

It was so soft, so tender, and yet Isak felt as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs, his heart was racing and his skin shivered from head to toe. After he’d managed to control his breathing, he decided to be bold and join Even in this experiment. 

_ “I would wrap my arm around your waist” _ Isak said, _ “pull you closer to me, your chest against mine. I’d let my hand slid under your shirt to feel your skin, trace the outline of your lips with my tongue until you would invite me in.” _

In turn, they continued telling each other how they’d want to touch, to kiss and caress the other and Isak could feel it all, even more vividly than he had in his dream, even if they didn’t even come close to talking about the kind of things Isak had dreamt about.

When they fell silent, Isak was panting, his entire body vibrating under Even’s phantom touch.

What had just happened? Did he really have his first kiss with Even? Across their universes?

_ “That was… wow.” _ Even chuckled.

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “I’ve never felt anything like this, ever.” _

_ “Me neither.” _ Isak breathed out

His heart was so full Isak felt like it could burst but with happiness. But, at the same time it was still aching, longing at the thought of what this could have been were they really together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked this chapter <3  
> The next one will be the conclusion of the story... 
> 
> I’m on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lokkanel) and[tumblr](https://lokkanel.tumblr.com/), come say hello !  
> Much Love  
> L.


	4. I'm here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous to post this last chapter!!  
> Here it is, the conclusion to this story and the answers to all the mystery... I hope you'll like it!

Isak met Jonas at their usual coffee place. He was a bit surprised his friend suddenly wanted to meet him there and sensed on his voice over the phone that there seemed to be something maybe bothering him, but he didn't make too much of it. Maybe Jonas had yet another fight with Eva, maybe he had just a bad day, or maybe Isak was just reading too much into this as always, and Jonas actually just wanted to see him.

To be perfectly honest, Isak did bail on jonas and the guys quite a lot recently, especially when they wanted to meet in the evening for a party or just to hang out and play FIFA with some beers and pizza. Isak forced himself to go out and spend nights with them from time to time because he didn't want his friends to get mad at him or even suspicious, but all he actually wanted was to spend his nights with Even.

When he stepped into the coffee shop, he spotted Jonas waving at him right away. Isak ordered his drink and joined his friend at the table he was sitting at in a corner of the place.

"Hei man, how's it going?" Jonas greeted him.

They chatted for a while like they usually did, about the guys and Eva, about university starting a few weeks from then, about video games and parties. It was just another hangout, but still, Isak couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off with Jonas.

He avoided Isak's gaze but when Isak caught his eyes, he was often looking at him with something like worry in his eyes, he was fidgeting and when he laughed, Isak could see his smile was a bit forced.

"Jonas?" he asked.

"Mmmh?"

"You okay? Is there something you wanna tell me?"

"Well... I was going to ask you the same thing actually."

Isak let out a surprised scoff in reaction to his friend's bluntness, "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, i'm sorry that was a bit… listen, the reason I asked you to meet me is that I wanted to talk to you… just the two of us."

"Okay…" Isak dragged out the word carefully.

“Is everything okay with you lately?”Jonas asked, “It’s just that… you’ve been a bit MIA and when you’re with us, you seem distant, like your mind is elsewhere. And I’ve talked to Eskild, he said that it’s the same at the kollektiv, that you lock yourself in your room every night…”

“What the hell Jonas?!” Isak suddenly cut him short, “you talked with Eskild? What is that, some kind of intervention? What else did you two discuss behind my back?”

“No it wasn’t like that… come on Isak.” Jonas pleaded, “I was just worried about you and I felt like I couldn’t get a hold of you… and Eskild can also see that’s something bothering you. If something’s wrong, we just want to help you, alright?”

“I… I know, I just…” Isak stuttered.

“You can talk to me, you know?

Yes, of course he knew, but this was just so difficult Isak didn’t know where to even begin. So he simply nodded.

“Is it…” Jonas hesitated a moment, “is it about your soulmate? Are you still upset about the mark?”

“Yeah, something like that…” Isak whispered, looking out the window.

When he turned his head back to Jonas, his friends was looking at him intently and raised his bushy eyebrows as if to ask him to continue.

"I found him." Isak said in a murmur.

"You… What?"

"My soulmate, I… I found him." Isak smiled, realising how good it felt to finally talk about him, to finally reveal Even's existence to someone else.

"But how?" Jonas asked, looking puzzled as he glanced at Isak's soulmark to see that it still didn't show more than a letter and some lines and curves.

Isak looked around them, the coffee shop was busy but no-one was paying attention to them and besides, the noise made by the percolators and people chatting was loud enough to protect them from prying ears anyway.

Isak took a deep breath and then…

When he opened his mouth and started talking, Isak suddenly found himself unable to stop. He just poured everything out to Jonas, only pausing for a second when he needed to gasp for air.

He told him everything, about that night when he managed to contact Even for the first time when he played a guessing game as to what his soulmate’s name could be, how they found out they were living at two different times, his parallel universes theory, his own freakout and how Even always seemed to be able te reassure and calm him, how they understood each other and could sense what the other was feeling, their long nights talking, his growing feelings for Even and how they had manage to “touch” each other, to really feel each other…

Jonas never interrupted him, he let Isak tell him everything but as he was speaking, Isak could see his friend’s face go from attentive to surprised to incredulous, his eyes widened as he listened to Isak and when he was finished, Jonas stayed silent for a moment, brows furrowed, his lips opening and closing as if he didn’t know how to begin addressing what he’d just heard.

“Isak I… I don’t know what to say” he began shaking his head “That sounds…”

“What?” Isak blurted out a little bit out of breath, “you don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s not that I don't believe you but…” Jonas hesitated, “are you sure about what you’re saying, are you sure this is not…”

Jonas paused, fidgeting on his seat like he was too nervous to continue.

“Well, just say it… hallucinations? You think I’m hearing things like my mother, is that it?”

"No, of course not… I never said that."

Jonas reached for him but Isak suddenly got up before his friend could grab his arm.

"I think I'm gonna go." Isak said.

"Isak come on…"

"Bye Jonas."

And just like that, Isak turned around and walked away, ignoring Jonas calling his name behind him.

*

Isak walked back to the kollektiv at a rushed pace, feeling like he would burst if he had to stay still on the bus that he would have normally taken to go home. He needed to burn out some of his frustration and anger towards Jonas, towards Eskild and this entire fucking unfair situation.

When he arrived in front of his apartment building, he felt his lungs burning and his heart racing. He stepped into their flat, and was relieved to see that Eskild was out, only finding Linn lying on the couch in front of some TV shows she was only half watching.

Before she could even greet him, Isak disappeared in his room and slammed the door closed behind him. He struggled to get his breathing to back to his normal rhythm as he continued to pace around his bedroom, turning his phone off to silence the notifications from Jonas texts.

When he hears Eskild coming home later, Isak stayed in his room. He just couldn’t face him right now so he put on his headphones and blasted some random music to isolate himself from the noise coming from the kitchen where his roommates were now chatting while having an early dinner. 

_ Good _ , that meant Eskild was probably going out that night, Isak figured.

Isak thought he heard them say his name in the somewhere in their conversation, Eskild probably wondering where he was and why he why he was hiding in his bedroom again, but to Isak’s relief, he didn’t come knocking at his door like he usually would.

Instead, Isak heard him bustling around in the bathroom for a while before he finally left the apartment shouting a good night at Linn before he left the flat and shut the front door.

When Linn finally also retreated to her bedroom, Isak went to the kitchen to fix himself something to eat. He sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the almost empty apartment, though it still wasn’t enough to ease his mind. His conversation with Jonas replayed again and again in his head, sadness and anger battling in his heart.

Isak wanted nothing more, needed nothing more than to be with Even, to talk to him and feel his voice fill this painful void inside of him, a void that was growing bigger and deeper whenever they were apart now. He wanted to feel his touch, just like he had the previous night and forget about everything and everyone else.

But Isak knew he was too worked up at the moment to be able to get in the state he needed to be in I to contact Even, and it frustrated him even more.

He finally managed to calm down and drift off to sleep after a couple more hours of twisting and turning, listening to what was was supposed to be relaxing music or trying his doctor’s weird breathing exercises… And the moment he eventually got in contact with him, Isak felt Even’s mood almost immediately shift from happy to worried.

_ “Hei, what’s wrong? You’re okay?” _ Even asked, because of course he felt Isak’s frustration.

For just a brief moment, it scared Isak. How Even seemed to be able to read him like an open book, and feel his deepest emotions. It scared him to see that he couldn’t hide anything from Even when he had spent so much time in his life pretending to be someone he was not. There he was, alone in the darkness of his bedroom, with nothing but a voice in his head, and still he felt as if he was standing completely bare in front of a man who only existed in the loneliest hours of the night.

_ “Not really no…” _

_ “I wish I could hold you right now…” _ Even sighed.

And then Isak felt it, a warm and soft sensation all around him, like an embrace that made him feel safe and... loved.

_ “You are…” _ Isak whispered.

_ “Do you… wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” _

_ “I told my best friend, I told Jonas… about you.” _ Isak stuttered.

_ “Oh. Okay… how did it go?” _

_ “Not good…” _

_ “No?” _ Even asked and Isak felt his hold get a little tighter.

_ “He didn’t believe me.” _

_ “Well, can you really blame him? This is pretty unusual…”  _ Even said carefully _ “maybe you should try to…” _

_ “He apparently thinks I’m crazy…” _ Isak scoffed  _ “just like my mom.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _ Even asked cautiously.

_ “Yeah, she used to have these hallucinations, she heard voices that made her completely paranoid. It got to a point where it was really scary, you know?” _

_ “I see. I’m… I’m sorry you had to go through that.” _

_ “Yeah, well…” _ Isak trailed off  _ “but Jonas has always been there for me and the worst part is that he knows how scared I was to… to…” _

He stammered, unable to say the words.

_ “To end up like her?” _

There was a sadness in Even’s voice that Isak couldn’t fully comprehend.

_ “Yeah…” _ he breathed out and he suddenly felt the loss of Even’s touch. He tried to chase it back but it was as if Even had retreated away from him.

_ “Talk to him, I’m sure you two will work it out. And you’re not… crazy, okay? You’re perfect.” _

_ “Even…” _

_ “Goodnight, Isak.” _

_ “Even??” _

Isak called him again but suddenly, Even was gone.

At that moment, Isak realized that he had never found himself alone in this “place” or “state” where he and Even met. Whenever he would reach out to him, Even was always already there as if he had been waiting for him. But now, Isak was alone, with nothing but an emptiness around him and the lingering feeling of sadness Even had left behind.

When Isak reopened his eyes and came back to the reality of his small bedroom, he was shaking, his forehead dripping with sweat.

He knew something happened, with Even, but he couldn’t understand what and he had never felt his absence as painfully as he was at that moment.

*

When Isak couldn’t contact Even the night after, he felt an alarming and anxious feeling setting in his chest, weighing on him as if his heart as been replaced by a hefty stone.

But when he couldn’t get in touch with him the night after, and the one after that, Isak began to fully panic.

Did he do or say something that drove Even away? Or worse, did something happen to Even. How could he even know if it did?

Isak anxiously studied the mark on his skin for any change, any indication but it remained the same and Isak didn’t know what to do. 

After a few days, where Isak was completely paralysed by fear, unable to leave his bedroom, he heard a timid knocking at his door.

“Isak? Can I come in?” Jonas muffled voice asked from the other side.

Isak opened the door slowly and saw his friend’s face fall with worry when his eyes laid on him. Isak had barely slept these last few days and he couldn’t really remember when he took his last shower so he guessed he was probably not a pretty sight.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice hoarse and tired.

“Eskild called me…” Jonas answered and immediately added “And look, I’m sorry if you feel like we’re overstepping again but he was worried about you and you didn’t answer any of my calls so I…”

Jonas was interrupted in his rant when Isak stepped closer to him and let his head fall on his shoulder, letting out a deep, shaky sigh.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jonas asked, closing the bedroom door behind them and wrapping his arms around Isak’s shoulders.

“I don’t know where he is…” Isak let out a strangled whisper, as if the words were too painful to be said any louder “I can’t find him, I’m so fucking scared Jonas, I…”

“I’m so sorry Isak… And I’m sorry for doubting you, I’m sorry if you felt like I thought you…”

“It’s alright… I know.” Isak cut him off. He didn’t want to play that conversation again, he didn’t want to be reminded of the last thing he spoke to Even about before he disappeared completely.

“Just… thank you, for being here.”

“Of course, you know I’m always here for you, yeah?”

“Yeah I know…”

After they had a light dinner Jonas fixed with whatever he found in the fridge, they talked a bit more, listened to some music and eventually, Jonas left making Isak promise they’d hang out the day after.

That night, Isak went to bed feeling utterly exhausted.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek when he closed his eyes and then almost immediately fell fast asleep before he could even try to contact Even.

*

Isak kept his promise to hang out with Jonas the following day.

It felt good, to finally get out of the kollektiv, to talk and joke with his best friend again after that awkward period they just went through. It was probably the first time they hadn’t talked for that long. They never fought, not really. They had arguments of course, like any friends would, but nothing they couldn’t resolve in a minute by buying the other a kebab and just brushing it off. So Isak was genuinely happy to just spend a day with Jonas and to laugh with him until he could forget, even for a just a few seconds, the hollowness inside his chest that seemed to get wider and deeper as nights without any signs of Even went by.

But as he came home later that day and closed the door behind him in his empty bedroom Isak felt that gap reopen and wanted to scream at how he missed Even.

He was prepared to fall asleep alone again that night, but as he slowly began to drift off after an hour of just trying to calm his pounding heart he felt his presence.

_ “Even?” _ Isak couldn’t help the sob that escaped his mouth when he called him,  _ “Is that you?” _

_ “Yes, I’m here.” _

_ “Are you… are you okay?” _

_ “I’m okay, I… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry you.” _

Isak felt a wave a relief rushing through him, Even was here, he was safe, he didn’t disappear. But at the sudden comfort had passed, his mind was suddenly also filled with confusion and something even more unpleasant like a hint of anger at Even for leaving him alone in the dark for so many days.

_ “What happened? Where were you?” _

_ “Isak, I’m…” _

There it was, the same profound sadness Even had felt the last time they were together, the same sadness he had left Isak with when he had disappeared into the night. Isak could feel it all around him, like an impenetrable barrier preventing him from getting closer to Even, when there was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to be able to feel his soulmate close to him and make him know everything would be okay.

_ “What is it, what’s wrong? Talk to me…” _ he pleaded when he felt Even drifting away from him again.

_ “I’m so sorry…” _

_ “Hey it’s okay, I’ve freaked out too remember? But like you said, what matters is that you’re here now and…” _

_ “Isak.” _ Even cut him off and Isak felt his stomach drop, terrified of what was coming next.

_ “Isak I did a lot of thinking about all of this, about… us. And I... I just think you deserve so much more that living your life only half awake with the phantom of a soulmate. You deserve something real, something beautiful, not to waste your life chasing a dream.” _

_ “What?” _ Isak felt like everything was crumbling down around him.This couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t let it.

_ “Is that how you you feel? That this is nothing but a dream?” _ he asked, his voice threatening to break.

_ “No, of course not! This is very real to me, you know that. But…” _

_ “But what?” _ Isak blurted out  _ “Then why are you pushing me away, why are you trying to make me leave you? I know how I feel, I can decide that for myself and I’ve thought about what this weird fucking situation means… And still I choose to be with you, I want to be with you.” _

Isak felt out of breath, but when Even stayed silent he added,  _ “But if  _ you  _ want out of this, then just say it.” _

_ “I… I need to tell you something, about me…” _ Even said slowly.

This wasn’t what Isak had expected to hear next, bracing himself for Even to cut all ties between them. But that worry was replaced by another when he felt the fear, the insecurity emanating from Even as he was fighting to let out the words he wanted to say.

_ “I’m… bipolar.” _

Isak felt his heart still for a moment. He tried to reach for Even, to  _ touch  _ him like they had before and let him know he was there, that they would be fine but he couldn’t. Even somehow kept this unbearable distance between them before he continued.

_ “And I’m afraid of what could happen the next time I have an episode, how it will make you feel when it traverses the bond until it gets to you. I don’t want to put you through that… I don’t want you do have to deal with that when you have already been through so much.” _

_ “Wait, hold on. Are you talking about my mom?” _ Isak said when Even paused  _ “What I said the other night was so… stupid and insensitive. Fuck I was so angry I can’t believe I called her crazy, I’m such an asshole… And I mean, yes it was difficult and scary being alone with her and I had to leave when I couldn’t manage on my own but I didn’t just abandon her, I would never. I love her so fucking much, I’d never just leave her like my father did when it became difficult… I don’t want to be like him, ever.” _

_ “Even, we don’t know what will happen if or when you eventually have an episode but we’ll figure it out, okay? We don’t have to worry about that now, or about anything else that could go wrong because all that matters to me now is to have you in my life. And maybe it’s going to be difficult, and maybe we’ll fuck up one way or another… we don’t know that for now. All I know is that I’d rather have this, however difficult and confusing it may be than to lose you completely. Because I… Even I…” _

Isak felt out of breath, his lungs burning as he’d just ran a marathon. He couldn’t let out what he wanted so desperately to say, feeling the words right there on the edge of his lips.

_ “Me too, Isak… me too.” _ Even whispered.

Even was still sad, still afraid, but Isak began to feel the distance between them reducing slowly, he felt like Even was finally almost within his reach, letting him back in carefully.

_ “Hold me? Please…” _

Isak held his breath for a second before he felt Even’s defense finally crumble down with a sigh of relief. Suddenly there was no more sadness, no more empty void around him but Even, only Even and Isak returned his embrace ardently, promising himself he would never let him go again.

*

Another week went by, bringing Isak closer to the end of the summer and the beginning of a new era of his life. Soon, he and the boys would begin studying at the university, which meant they wouldn’t be able to see each other all the time like they did in high school and even more during the summer when they had nothing more important to do than to hang out together. They all chose different subjects and knew it would be difficult to get together even during their free time, with all the work they school would have to do, new friends, jobs and responsibilities. When Isak thought about what his life would be once he’d start med school he felt a little bit dizzy.

They all really wanted to enjoy and make the most of their last days of freedom and carefreeness.

But instead of that, Isak, Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus found themselves, in the middle of a bright and hot summer day, sitting next to each other in the ER waiting room.

“Do you think it’s broken? I’m sure it’s broken…” Magnus whined for the hundredth time, holding his arm against his chest “Issy, what do you think?”

“The fuck do I know?” Isak scoffed “I’m not a doctor yet, I haven’t even started school.”

“Fuuuuck, I’m gonna begin uni with a broken arm… I’m gonna be known as  _ the guy with the plaster cast _ until I graduate you’ll see.”

“Well, it could give you a bit of leverage with chicks” Mahdi smirked “play the poor wounded guy that needs to be cared for, maybe you’ll find one willing to be your own private nurse.”

“You think so?” Magnus asked, suddenly forgetting about the pain he had been complaining about for the last hour.

“Yeah, sure” Mahdi grinned as Isak rolled his eyes “but you might wanna find a cooler story to tell than you tried to copy Jonas’ sick skateboarding moves and fell miserably on your ass.”

“True.” Jonas approved smugly.

The boys continued their banter and began to invent absurd stories Magnus could tell girls to explain how he broke his arm but Isak suddenly felt his head spinning, he couldn’t hear them properly, their voices muffled by the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

“You okay?” Jonas asked, leaning closer to him. 

“Yeah, I’m just… I think I need a bit of fresh air.” Isak said feeling a little bit weak in his legs when he got up.

“Want me to come with you?”

“Nah it’s alright, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Okay, try not to faint in front of your future colleagues, that’d make a poor first impression.”

Isak flipped off a smirking Jonas as he walked away, looking for a bathroom where he could splash some water on his face.

Isak began walking along the long white corridors but he couldn’t register what was going on around him. He felt more and more dizzy as he continued to walk, people voice’s mixed together in an indecipherable buzz, their faces disappearing in a blur. He didn’t know what he was looking for anymore, why he left his friends or where he was supposed to be going. It was like he was sleepwalking, his body deciding where he wanted to go, Isak had no control over where his legs were taking him, or over the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat.

He suddenly stopped in the middle of a corridor, leaning on the wall to keep himself from falling on the ground. When his vision cleared, he looked at the sign put up next to the elevator doors. How the hell did he end up on the second floor without even realizing it? Did he climb the stairs up here or?

Isak continued to walk slowly until he began to feel like himself again. The dizziness was gone, his heart and his breathing had returned to a normal beat, but just as his body seemed to have calmed down, Isak felt something else. A unique sensation, a warm, tingling feeling on his arm he recognized instantly.

Isak held up his arm and let out a surprised gasp when he saw his soul mark shifting, the lines detangling until he could see three clear initials on his skin : E. B. N.

He brushed the mark softly with his fingers and felt it react, as if it was coming alive under his touch. Isak stood there for a moment, tracing the letter in awe, wondering if Even could somehow feel it oo.

When he came back down to earth, Isak figured it was time he got back to the boys, he didn’t even know how long he’d been gone. But as he looked around to take in his surroundings, his eyes stopped on a closed door. He walked slowly toward the door until he was standing right in front of it, his eyes locked on the little plate indicating the room’s number : 21.

Before he could stop himself, Isak reached for the handle and opened the door.

The room was only half-lighted, light curtains shut closed over the window softening the summer sunbeams. Isak saw two beds in the room, the first one closest to the door was empty, but in the other one near the windows lied a long, perfectly still body. Isak closed the door as softly as he could not to disturb the person who seemed to be resting in the bed. But as he got closer and took in the machines connected to the body, monitoring its heart rate and other vitals, he realized they were probably not just sleeping. He continued to walk closer until he was standing at the end of the bed.

When his eyes laid on the boy lying there, Isak had to grab the bedframe to keep himself from staggering. His face was peaceful, so peaceful and so handsome, full red lips contrasting with a skin so light, Isak’s heart clenched at the thought that he mustn't had been out in the sun in a really long time. Isak was struck by the boy’s beauty but more than that, he felt like he knew him, like this wasn’t a stranger but someone close and important. Which was completely ridiculous because he was sure he had never seen this boy before, he would have surely remembered him.

Isak finally took his eyes off the boy and looked down at the bedframe he was still holding so strong his fingers were beginning to hurt. There he saw a tablet with what he figured were the boy’s vitals chart. After a second of hesitation, he grabbed the tablet and looked at the first sheet. It was filled with information he was to learn to understand soon but that, at that moment only look like undecipherable gibberish. But it didn’t matter because the only information that he needed was right there at the top of the sheet.

The name of the patient, of the boy lying still in front of him.

Three words. Three words words with the same initials that were carved into Isak’s skin.

Even Bech Næsheim.

Isak let the tablet fall on the ground and looked back at the boy, his vision suddenly made blurry by the tears that were filling his eyes.

“Even…” he whispered, his voice barely escaping the tightness of his throat.

Isak threw himself on the bed next to Even and grabbed one of his hands, lying on top of the sheet covering him. He took Even’s hand to his lips, to his tears covered cheeks and whispered against his skin, “Even, it’s me. Wake up… please wake up.”

He begged and pleaded until he left his head fall on Even’s chest. He laid there, feeling the steady rhythm of his soulmate heartbeat under his cheek, the proof that he was there, flesh and bone, blood rushing through his veins. Not a dream anymore, if only he would just…

“Wake up… please wake up.” Isak all but breathed out over Even’s heart.

“Isak?”

The voice was low, so low and hoarse but Isak jumped as if Even had just shouted his name on the top of his lungs.

“Yes! I’m here, Even I’m here” he sat up and watched Even opened his eyes slowly, his long eyelashes fluttering against his skin, to reveal the most beautiful blue eyes Isak had ever seen.

“Hi” Isak smiled.

“You… you found me.” Even answered, his ocean eyes locked on Isak’s.

“Yes, yes I found you” Isak entwined their fingers before bringing Even’s hand back to his lips.

“Where are we?” Even asked, suddenly seeming to take in his surroundings.

“You’re at the hospital. Do you… do you remember what happened?”

“No I… I remember driving home and… I remember snow, a lot of snow, it was all so white everywhere around me and then… then you called me, you said my name.”

“Yes.”

“And after that, there was just you... I remember only you.”

“It’s okay, you’re he now. You’re back”

“And you’re here, you’re really here. It’s not another dream?”

“No” Isak leaned toward Even until he could nuzzle his head in the crook of his neck “It’s not a dream. I’m here.”

Even was too weak to hug him back but Isak felt him rest his head on top of Isak’s and let out a deep sigh.

Suddenly, the door opened and two nurses entered the room. They froze when they took in the scene in front of them, Isak half laying on the bed against Even whose eyes were wide open.

“What’s going on here? Is he? Is he awake?” the older nurse exclaimed, then turned toward her colleague “Liv, go fetch Doctor Ulberg right now, and call the family”

When the young nurse had hurried out of the room, she turned back to look at Isak “And who are you? What do you think you’re doing here? Get out!”

“No, but… you don’t understand I’m…” Isak stammered.

“Get out of here right now or I’m calling security.” shen answered, her voice cold as ice.

When Isak looked at Even, he simply gave him a little nod, silently telling him to do as she said.

“Okay.” Isak whispered.

He got up from the bed and painfully detached their locked hands, walking back out of the room not letting Even out of his sight before he was in the corridor and the nurse had shut the door in his face.

*

Isak paced to corridors, trying to get information about Even each time someone got in or out of his room. He eventually let himself fall on an uncomfortable chair and closed his eyes, just to rest for a moment.

Suddenly, he felt someone shake his shoulder gently and let out a gasp, realizing he had fallen asleep. He opened his eyes to find a woman crouching next to his chair, a small smile on her lips. A tall man was standing behind her. They looked tired, but most of all they looked like… him.

“Isak? I’m Sigrid, and this is Jan. We’re Even’s parents.” the woman murmured when she saw Isak beginning to come back to his senses.

“Oh” Isak rushed to sat back up in the chair were he had slumped in his sleep.

“How… how is he?”

“He’s fine” Sigrid answered, her voice a little bit strangled with emotion, Jan putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it gently, “Everything's fine, he’s sleeping now.”

“Okay…” Isak fidgeted a moment in his seat, “I am… I…”

“We know, Even told us.” she said and looked at Isak her eyes filled with tears but also with an incommensurable fondness “Well, as much as he could given how exhausted he was.”

“Oh, right…” Isak blushed, not knowing what he was supposed to do when meeting the parents of his soulmate he actually had physically met only a few hours ago for the first time.

“You know he’s been in a coma since february…” Sigrid said.

“Um… yes that’s what I figured given what he told me.”

“His situation had been stable for months with no sign that he would wake up anytime soon” she continued wiping the tears that were rolling down her cheeks as she spoke “But those last couple of months, his doctors have observed an unusual, higher brain activity that was occurring only during the night and they couldn’t explain it. When this started we came here every single day trying to stimulate him, we took turn, his dad, his friends and I, talking to him constantly, playing his favourite music… but he stayed stable. Only at night did he…”

“And this past week, it happened all the time, day and night, as if he was trying to come back to us…” she finally said in a sob, Jan leaning down to wrap his arms around her.

Isak couldn't move, he couldn’t speak, he was just concentrating to calm his pounding heart that was threatening to burst out of his chest.

One week ago, Even had tried to let him go but Isak had refused, telling him that he chose him despite it all and since then... Even had somehow fought to come back.

“Wow…” he breathed out. “Can I... can I see him?”

“Visits are over, but yeah, you go. Just hurry, I’ll keep his nurse busy if she come back” Sigrid winked at him.

Even was indeed fast asleep when Isak went back to his room. On his face, Isak could see the same peaceful look he had earlier, only now, his lips were curled up in the tiniest smile.

Isak ran his hand through Even’s soft blond hair and leaned down to lay a single, tender kiss on his forehead. Then he whispered, 

“Goodnight my love”

*

That night, Isak couldn’t contact Even but it was fine, he didn’t worry, he didn’t feel alone.

He knew Even was here, in this time and universe. He had fought to come back to him and they would be together the next day, and the day after and the one after that. There was nothing keeping them apart now.

Isak ran his hand against the mark on his arm and fell asleep feeling the full name of his soulmate reacting to his touch.

*

They did see each other every single day after Even had woken up.

Isak spent the end of summer vacations at the hospital, Even urging him to go out and see his friends, to enjoy his last moments of freedom before Uni but Isak, stubborn as he was, kept coming every single day.

In doing so he met all of Even’s friends and loved one who came to visit him. There was so much introducing himself awkwardly to people crying with joy but he didn’t mind. He could see how Even was loved and it just made his heart grown even more fond for him. 

His own friend came to meet Even one day. It was all perfectly chill, until Magnus exclaimed “Oh so you’re the one Isak ditched us for last time we were here? Like, I was in sooo much pain and the guy just took off??”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Mags” Isak groaned, but in the corner of his eyes, he was happy to see Even laughing joyfully with Madhi and Jonas.

*

Everyday, Even got a little stronger until he was able to get out of the hospital and back to the flat he shared with his friend Mikael.

Isak had started Uni and the workload was already crazy but still, he biked to Even’s place everyday before of after classes (and yeah, often both).

“You know, sometimes I’m afraid to fall asleep at night” Even said on a friday night, as they were lying on his bed, legs tangled together, eyes lost in the others. “Sometimes I get scared that  _ this  _ is a dream and that I will go back to the darkness and loneliness of that permanent sleep without you, that this time I won’t be able to wake up and come back to you.”

Isak leaned closer until their noses were brushing against each other, he took Even’s face between his hands to press a kiss on his lips, then looked back into his eyes.

“You can rest, I’ll be here to wake you up. I’ll wake you up everyday of my life if I have to.”

“I love you…” Even smiled “I’m so glad you found me.”

“I love you too.”

They stayed silent a moment, Isak caressing Even’s cheek softly before he added, “And I would have found you even if you really had been in a parallel universe.”

“Oh yeah?” Even chuckled “and how would you have done that?”

“I would have dropped out of med school, become and engineer instead so I could have figured out how to build a portal or a parallel universe travelling machine.”

“A parallel universe travelling machine?” Even laughed.

“Mmmh…” Isak paused a moment, just to revel in the beautiful smile of the man lying next to him, “I would have built it with my bare hands even if it took me a lifetime, even if when I eventually found you we would both be all old and wrinkled.”

“Will you still love me when I’m all old and wrinkled?” Even asked wiggling his eyebrows.

Isak rolled his eyes but couldn’t help giggling at Even silliness. He leaned closer to kiss the teasing smile off Even’s face.

“I guess we have our entire lives to find out...”

“I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand here we are, I hope you were not disappointed by the resolution of this story. Some of you guessed Even was in a coma, congrats to you ! :D
> 
> I really want to thank you for reading this, for leaving kudos and words of encouragement along the way. Writing this story has been quite an emotional roallercoaster. I had so many doubts about it, grew so frustrated by moments, that I don't think I could have gone through with it without your support. I'm really really grateful for it.
> 
> If you want to tell me what you thought of that ending, I'd be really happy to read you thoughts.  
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lokkanel) and [tumblr](https://lokkanel.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Much love,  
> L.


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